Memoirs of a Goofball

I’ll be honest – I am a total perfectionist and have struggled with this, well, imperfection my entire life.  Everything has to be done just right and anything less than ideal is unacceptable.  Does this story sound familiar to anyone?  You know…you’re your own worst critic and mistakes automatically equate to some version of the unthinkable – “failure?”

While this internal battle may be a lifelong challenge for some of us, there is something else I have come to realize that you may also resonate with.  When all is said and done, beneath the layers of emotion, insecurity and life-shaping experience, I am a certifiable….goofball.  (Yes, that is the technical term.)  Somewhere beneath my futile pursuit of perfection is a silly, goofy person who makes bad jokes, loves to laugh and longs to take herself less seriously. 

When I think about the leaders in my life who have impacted me the most, they are just that – individuals who know how to not take themselves so seriously.  They lead by example and are concerned with doing their best, not the best.  In a sense, they are people who know they are perfectly human.  They do not pretend to have it all figured out, and ultimately cultivate deeper human relationships because of this.

It’s difficult to name a specific person whom we all may see this way, but we each have role models like this in our lives…  Those positive individuals whom people are naturally drawn to?  They seem to exude a personal confidence in themselves, but never pride.  They enjoy self-deprecating humor and are not afraid of mistakes, because it means they are learning and venturing into something new.  And even more, they have a genuine interest in others…

They remind me of what Ken Blanchard, world-renowned leadership author and speaker, always says: “People with humility don’t think less of themselves, they just think about themselves less.”  In essence, these leaders don’t sweat the small stuff by taking the focus off of themselves.  They have an incredible way of identifying with people – simply by being real, goofiness and all.  They are refreshingly authentic. 

“Life is a very special occasion,” as Blanchard also says, so let’s delight in our relationships, remember what is important and not take ourselves so seriously. 

It’s time to embrace your inner-goofball.

2010
10/29
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
Behavior
Challenges
Leadership
Relationships
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Collecting Feedback…Survey Says?

A leader’s toolbox should contain a number of precision instruments that, when utilized properly, are able to effectively collect, interpret, and implement feedback. Yet, in this never-ending pursuit of feedback, leaders have become increasingly dependent on one particular all-purpose tool to get the job done. But what happens when a sharp tool gets overused? It becomes dull and ineffective.

The all-purpose tool that I’m referring to is the survey. The survey has become the go-to method for acquiring feedback across all industries. If you’re wondering why your survey’s response rate is low, it’s because you’ve got very heavy competition.

I recently tracked the number of survey requests I received over a seven day period. During that one week, I received in excess of 25 survey requests. Most were unique requests; however, some were follow-up reminders. These requests primarily came from restaurants, retail outlets, news and leisure websites, financial institutions, market research firms, professional organizations that I work with, and the organization that I work for. They were received by e-mail, snail mail, pop-up windows, phone calls, comment cards, and printed on receipts directing me to a phone number or website. Some offered rewards, some did not. Some guaranteed anonymity, some did not. The estimated amount of time per survey ranged from five to 20 minutes.

For the sake of argument, let’s assume each survey took only 10 minutes. Had I actually taken the time to complete each survey (I did not), I would have spent 4-5 hours of my week, or roughly 30-45 minutes per day, on just surveys. But since surveys don’t rate very favorably on the WIIFM scale, they fall to the bottom of the priority list and, more often than not, don’t get completed. To put it bluntly, survey requests currently rank just below telemarketers and spammers on my list of favorite things.

Of course, the survey can be very effective if used appropriately. And let’s face it, it’s not going away. But we should also utilize other instruments in the toolbox. Feedback can be divided into two broad types: solicited and unsolicited. The survey is an example of solicited feedback. But the most valuable of all feedback is unsolicited, and unfortunately, it’s the most frequently overlooked.

There is nothing more beautiful than someone choosing of their own free will to take the time to stop and tell you how great you’re doing or even how bad you’re doing. It’s real, it’s honest, it’s in the moment, and best of all, it wasn’t done simply to get you to stop sending survey requests. It’s meaningful. This is the stuff we should really be paying attention to. But since we didn’t see it coming, we often aren’t prepared for it and let it slip away.

If you have an efficient system for capturing unsolicited feedback, or if you have a survey success or horror story, we’d love to hear about it. Please share your thoughts in the comment box below…it should only take you about 10 minutes to complete.

2010
10/22
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CATEGORY
Feedback
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Passion – As Seen On TV!

I’ve never been much of a fan of cooking shows or the Food Network.  While they do give some great recipes, I find watching a cooking show is like buying and cooking Kobe beef and then feeding it to your dog instead of yourself.  You get all the anticipation (and salivation) of seeing the food being made, just to be disappointed at the end while you watch someone else reap the benefits. 

However, there is one brand of cooking shows that I enjoy.  I love watching anything with Chef Gordon Ramsay.  Yes, he’s the foul-mouthed Scottish chef that likes to kick trash cans or smash dinner plates when things don’t seem to go the right way.  Yes, he likes to put people down that don’t follow his every direction.  Yes, contestants have dropped out of Hell’s Kitchen or have quit their jobs on Kitchen Nightmares because of his fiery tongue.  He’s not someone I would want to report to, but at least in the end of each episode, he gets good results. 

Even though he’s appeared on multiple TV series, I’ve found that there’s a common theme Ramsay preaches about to everyone, whether that be someone new to cooking, or the experienced award-winning chef that seems to have lost their touch: 

If you want to be a good cook, you need to have passion.

When you look at the different levels of experience or the performances of a lot of these chefs/cooks on his shows, you can clearly see the difference between those that have passion, and those that don’t. 

Those that don’t have passion will always receive a tongue-lashing from Ramsay and will usually perform poorly.  For those that do have passion, they practically have automated focus.  Time and again, I see these passionate cooks performing efficiently (not letting the kitchen fall behind on orders) and turning out consistent results (food that restaurant patrons will rave about).

Passion isn’t just for the kitchen.  Passion can be, and should be, carried across all potential facets of business.  No matter what line of work you’re in, it’s passion that drives both results and the core of innovation.   As leaders, it is our duty to ignite the passion within our employees. 

The concept of passion in the work environment is not one that many younger leaders may think about.  Our sister-blog, LeaderChat, has a lot of great information about creating passion in the workplace.  This would be a great place to start if you’re new to this idea. 

How has passion (or a lack thereof) affected your work environment?  Do you have any employees that are facing a “passion crisis”?  Leave your comments!

2010
10/15
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
Innovation
Passion
Productivity
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The Science of Kindness

  • “Kindness”: The quality or state of being Kind.
  • “Kind”: Compassion, charitable behavior, goodness and concern for others. 
  • The Dalai Lama: The latest financier in the study of Kindness.

 

Yes, that’s correct.  Last week, the Dalai Lama announced plans to donate $50,000 toward research on whether kindness and compassion can be promoted through meditation, taking place at the University of Wisconsin, Madison.  This pre-meditated, not-so-random act of kindness on the Dalai Lama’s part really made me think…  What does kindness look like?  Why is it important?  And how does this warm and fuzzy, yet elusive word translate into the business world?

Every day we go into work.  Perhaps we clock in, put on our gear, scan the rising piles of documents in our cubicle or tidy up our classroom, and then…we’re off and running.  The day is flying by.  We’re racing through our to-do list, about to catch up, and before we know it…the day is done.  It’s going home time.

But what about those people, our coworkers, who are doing the exact same thing as us?  How are they doing?  How are they feeling?  Is it possible that we could somehow make a difference in their world?  That perhaps there is another reason we’re at this place for 40+ hours a week, beyond just a job?

It is amazing how you can sit right next to someone and have no idea what is going on in their life…their pain, struggles, insecurities, or perhaps even their joys.  We spend more waking hours in this environment than we do at home and yet, we can miss out on relationships literally sitting the next office space down.

Let’s not let this happen.

As leaders, we must always be looking for ways to serve, so let’s reach out…  Let’s be intentional with our work relationships and make kindness our mission.  Let’s be genuinely interested in our colleagues, and aware – to the best of our abilities – of what may be affecting them.  Let’s ask how they are doing and listen to their answers.  Compassion for others can pay dividends beyond our imagination. 

Yes, the work week is difficult.  There are deadlines to meet, requests to fulfill and stakeholders to please.  The pressure may always be there.  Work IS work, but we must remember…work involves people.  And these people may be in our lives for a reason.  Ultimately these relationships will last much longer than any urgent task, so let’s make the most of them!  There is too much good that can come from it.

2010
10/08
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
Behavior
Leadership
Listening
Relationships
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I Dare You to Move

I was driving home from work earlier this week, winding down and tuning into my favorite station, when Switchfoot’s “I Dare You to Move” began playing on the radio.  I have always been a fan of this band and their profound lyrics, but it wasn’t until this moment that I actually listened to the song.  Lead singer Jon Foreman challenges his audience to step out in faith and create positive change; to influence this world by reconciling the tension “between who you are and who you could be.”

Are you moving? 

Let’s face it – we have an obsession with being “comfortable.”  Domestically, the American Dream may look differently with each generation, but the fundamental desire will never change.  We want life to be easy, happy, stress-free…a craving so often driven by our ultimate vice: fear.

But leaders take a different approach.  Leaders know that to truly grow and make a difference in this world, we must challenge ourselves, step outside of our comfort zones and be willing to be stretched.  In a sense, leaders are healthy risk-takers.  They are adventurous.  They are willing to explore an unknown – even when others may not agree or understand – to realize a new potential.

At the same time, leaders understand that to lead is to serve.  Leadership is about building others up and encouraging them to do the same.  So often misconstrued as a decision to invest in one’s own personal development alone, leadership is ultimately about positively impacting our world.  Our “healthy risk-taking” should never hurt anyone along the way, but instead encourage others to do just the same!

So, are you “who you could be?”

Are you willing to be stretched, by your own doing, to contribute to the community around you and society as a whole? 

It is so easy to become overwhelmed – to feel like “my contribution will never be big enough” or “my endeavor may end up in failure.”  It is easy to let fear win.  Yet, whether we’re prepared or not, we all have dreams.  We all have a calling…a purpose.  The world awaits us and we must do something about it.  Where do you feel called to lead?

Take a look at the following quote – attributed to both President Nelson Mandela and author Marianne Williamson – which boldly captures this notion:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Realize your potential.

I dare you to move.

2010
10/01
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
Fear
Leadership
Relationships
Vision
4 comments

The Game Is In US

Did you happen to watch the World Cup this year? If so, did you learn anything? If you didn’t, you missed out on an incredible opportunity. Aside from the amazing action, there were countless back stories that provided valuable insight and understanding into the cultures of the different countries. Regardless of whether you like soccer or not, the “beautiful game” is the “world’s game.” And if you are currently doing business globally, or have aspirations of doing business globally, being able to speak and understand the “global language” is an outstanding way to connect and build relationships with your partners across the world.

Looking for a way to quickly break the ice and impress that prospective new client in Brazil? Unfortunately, the New York Giants “football” club won’t do you any favors. Instead, try mentioning the 100-year anniversary of Corinthians and their fan base of 30 million (yes, 30 MILLION) die hard supporters. On the other hand, if he mentions his team is Santos than you can always help him celebrate Neymar’s decision to reject Chelsea. If you have no idea what I’m talking about it’s time to get a clue. Believe it or not, I actually used these same topics to successfully build a relationship with a business colleague in Brazil.

But if you don’t believe me, perhaps you’ll listen to Morgan Freeman. The following was posted yesterday on the www.gousabid.com blog. When you’re done, take a moment to join the one million plus supporters and help bring the World Cup, and it’s economic and cultural benefits, to the United States.

Earlier today, Morgan Freeman sent an email to the more than one million supporters of the US Bid for the 2018 or 2022 FIFA World Cup™ to announce GoUSABid’s newest video. Freeman, a member of the bid committee, narrated the inspirational video to show FIFA the power of soccer in America.

Please take a look at the touching email Morgan Freeman sent and the video he narrated:

I am proud to lend my voice to this remarkable effort to bring the FIFA World Cup™ to the United States.

Soccer is the world’s Game, its beauty and simplicity embraced by people in every corner of the globe. I have seen the Game’s power to bring people together, to stoke their passion, to realize their dreams.

Together, you and I and more than 100 million World Cup fans throughout the United States are showing the world that we’re passionate about bringing the World Cup to our country.

Together, we’re living proof of the power of soccer.

http://www.gousabid.com/power

The Game is in me, the Game is in you — the Game is in US.

— Morgan Freeman


2010
09/24
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
Partnering
Relationships
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Give Me Training or Give Me Death!

I say: take no thought of the harvest, but only of proper sowing. –(Famous Dead Poet), T.S. Eliot, Choruses from The Rock

You want to be better! It’s not a question. If you’re reading this article, you have a desire to perform on a higher level—at work and in life. You’re the fraction of the workforce and society that is ready to perform, learn, and live a better tomorrow than what you’ve achieved today.

But how do we get better? How do we really make worthwhile contributions to our family and friends, our organizations, and our clients, day in and day out?

WE TRAIN!

And I’m not talking about that old dinosaur called Two-Day Seminars or Workshops. The days of one- or two-day classrooms as “training solutions” are ineffective and dying. That’s teaching; that’s not training. I’m talking about a consistent effort to purposely get better at your job through a series of activities, experiences, and acquisitions of knowledge, skills, and competencies that are integrated into your workflow as the actual learning process—not a 15-minute follow up to some mountaintop experience you had last week. Training is a long distance race! It’s not a few toe touches and jumping jacks.

While the classroom itself still holds some meaning, the idea that you only get better in a classroom simply is not true anymore. There era of Dead Poets Society has moved beyond standing up on your desk and shouting about seizing the day, it’s a continual effort outside the classroom, in the real world, actually seizing moments. You can learn theories and skills in a classroom, but you can’t be trained to use them. You can’t create a habit in a Two-Day Workshop. With technological advancements, the idea that Soft or Off-the-Job training takes place outside of your normal workflow (in a classroom, away from your desk, pontificating some abstract leadership philosophy on a mountaintop) is Dark Age thinking. Seminars may be events, but they’re only events. Seminars and workshops don’t make us better; they only make us think about getting better.

Your colleague who is going to run in a marathon this fall doesn’t go to a one-day motivational seminar, or runners’ workshop, and think that he’s prepared to run 26.2 miles tomorrow—he trains for the event by exercising daily on a strict schedule, eating the right foods, getting the proper rest, and shedding a few drops of blood, sweat, and tears as prepare for race day.

If you’re not training, you’re dying from a slow and painful mediocre contribution. It’s not meaningless work, but it could become so much more if we take the leadership, the people, and the technical skills seriously enough to put them into action and apply them directly to our everyday real work and real lives. The next generation of leaders and learners want training, real sustained training, and through that training they want to make great contributions to the world and the workplace.

Jason Diamond Arnold
Co-Author of Situational Self Leadership in Action

2010
09/17
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
Behavior
Business
Challenges
Decision Making
Leadership
Norms
Performance
Productivity
Relationships
Responsibility
Vision
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