Is Patience a Virtue?

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Definitions

Patience (noun)– The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious

Virtue (noun) – Behaviour showing high moral standards

Is patience a virtue? We have all heard the story of the hare and the tortoise, where slow and steady wins the race, but is that true in real life? I don’t know why, but I have always thought that if I am not quick at something then I will miss out, I want everything now. Problem is, I also have these speedy expectations from others. I respect people who have patience enormously, but this isn’t something I am very good at and probably links to the fact I am a control freak.

So why am I impatient?

Technology and our surroundings have sped up our lives. We live in a world with instant gratification – maybe I am impatient, because as a millennial I have never had to be patient?! If I want to buy something, I can click on the internet and get next day delivery. If someone want’s a promotion/pay rise and isn’t getting it they can get a new job. If you want a new car or new house, there is finance and so on and so on……

Just a few little examples of scenarios that make me impatient – Sound familiar?7897454-Man-Angry-in-a-Traffic-Stock-Photo-car-cartoon-angry

  • Getting frustrated because I haven’t lost weight when I have been eating salad for 2 days?
  • Shouting at the computer screen because it takes 10 seconds to load a page?
  • Getting angry when you have asked someone to do something 100 times, and it still isn’t done.
  • Asking for a simple task to be done, and it’s not done right.
  • You are waiting for someone and they turn up an hour late, and your blood is boiling. You say you are ok, but you know that your tone of voice says otherwise.
  • I buy things now, even though in 2 days time it will be cheaper.
  • Moaning and ranting about getting stuck in traffic

We need to try to be just a little more patient

Less people today are patient and Anderson & Rainie findings show that under 35’s have a need for instant gratification and have a loss of patience. This has had damaging affects for companies, because many just create a quick fix rather than accessing the situation and finding out more information. Shorter attention spans will be detrimental in solving large complex problems which need time. Our organisations, colleagues and loved ones need us to have patience. More importantly our health needs us to have patience, it’s not healthy for us to get anxious and angry over every detail.

Ever had someone on the phone or in person that sounds anxious and irritable? It’s not nice and people might be thinking that about you. Do you think people get promoted that are all over the place, quick to judge and always talking over others? I am going to try and start being just a little more patient and here is how I am going to do it.

  • Not everyone is like you and me! Some people are slower, some are faster. Access the person you are dealing with on the task you have given them. Are they competent at the task you have given them, do you need to check in with them?
  • Identify triggers to come up with strategies to tackle them.
  • Think about the bigger picture. What is going to happen if what I want doesn’t happen when I want it to? Will the world end???
  • Take that extra 10 seconds to think before acting.
  • Try Yoga – I hear this is calming.
  • Meet people 1/2 way, instead of moaning. If someone (not mentioning names in case he reads this) is generally slower than you are at doing things, explain the situation and come up with a mutual solution together.

Some things don’t and won’t happen overnight. I think Patience is a virtue, it is something that isn’t as highly regarded nowadays as it should be. Does this statement mean patience is easy? No, not at all, like everything in life to be good at something you have to work at it. I believe what level of patience you give should be assessed for the task at hand, delve a little deeper into the reasoning’s for delays or problems. Is it worth getting annoyed or anxious about?

Sarah-Jane Kenny – Channel Solutions Consultant at the Ken Blanchard Companies

You Should Bloom Where You are Planted

One of the greatest attributes of successful people and leaders is to understand their passions and strengths. Sometimes we get distracted or side-tracked by other things that are perceived as adding value but in reality they are time wasters and productivity drainers. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of what our strengths are and focus on those. Jake Weidmann reminds us all about pursuing our strengths and crafting our passions.

A Happier and Healthier You

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I am going to be open and honest – I don’t like New Year’s resolutions!

I do have goals each year, but I don’t get to January 1 and think up resolutions; there’s so much evidence they don’t work.

Forbes posted an article which drew upon the University of Scranton’s research which states that just 8% of people achieve their New Year’s resolutions. I have seen many articles listing an under 10% resolutions success rate. So why do so many of us make them?

Healthy Changes

I made a decision last year that in order to be more effective at work I needed to have a greater focus on my wellbeing which meant investing in my health, energy and productivity.

For too long I had been on the treadmill of sugary foods and caffeine hits to get me through the day. Rather than make me more efficient this sent me on a rollercoaster of insulin highs and lows.

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I didn’t start this at the beginning of the year only to give up after 2 weeks – I happened to start mid-year and read up on nutrition, exercise, and mind and body health. I then went about making small changes I could sustain and I am happy to report after about 6 months I have a lifestyle I can maintain and I am feeling so much better for it.

I am sure there are a lot of us out there that feel a career and family mean we have to opt for convenience. This just isn’t true.

What I Have Learnt

  • We are capable of so much more – There’s a great feeling when you are in control. You know what you are putting into your body and, through mental and physical exertion, what your body is capable of.
  • Don’t do ‘low fat’ – We are sold a lot of ‘food myths’ by retailers and manufacturers – ‘low fat’ regularly means high sugar and salt which retain body fat and make us feel bloated and sluggish.
  • Treat yourself to nature – A ‘treat’ should not be something sugary, a ‘treat’ should be a nourishing meal of natural foods that leave you feeling great and with the energy to be productive. Think about how eating that packet of crisps at 3pm really makes you feel.
  • Take a break – So many of us eat while working. It actually aids digestion and makes us more productive to take a break.
  • Brain Fuel – Water and exercise feed the brain. Staying hydrated helps our attention span (and it reduces ageing signs like wrinkles!!), as does stepping outside for fresh air and a little bit of sunshine (increasing our vitamin D levels).

Livestrong’s article ‘How Does Exercise Improve Work Productivity’ explains why exercise is so crucial for work performance,

‘When you exercise, you are also increasing blood flow to the brain, which can help sharpen your awareness and make you more ready to tackle your next big project. Exercise can also give you more energy. Having more energy means you will feel more awake at work. Being on top of your game will assure that you perform your work correctly and to the best of your ability.’

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Being healthy not only gives you a longer life to enjoy, but also improves brain function and makes us better at our jobs.

Give Your Routine a Healthy Overhaul

  • Prepare for your week in advance – I see so many of my colleagues buying pre-made lunches and breakfasts. There is a rainbow of vegetables and fruit out there that come without labels and the term ‘low fat’. A carrot does not need to say low in salt/sugar! I lead a busy life, but make the time for shopping for fresh produce and planning meals in advance. Believe me, you will feel the benefit.
  • Make time for food – I find it hard to eat away from my desk, but I do try to focus more on when and what I am eating; the taste, the smell and how the food makes me feel. So many of us suffer with poor digestion, make the time to chew food and give your stomach a chance to digest. Cooking can also be a family affair, get your spouse and children involved and make meal preparation fun.
  • Get some fresh air and/or move – I always feel more alive and productive after a run. This isn’t for everyone, but it’s important that we all ‘move’ for good health and wellbeing. Studies have shown that exercise can improve mental health, so pick a gym class you enjoy, a walk outside with friends or any activity that makes you feel alive. The key thing is to enjoy the movement and reap its rewards.
  • Ditch the labels – Try buying from the first couple of aisle of the supermarket. I see so many people with trolleys full of branded products, with barcodes and terms like ‘fat free’ or ‘low sugar’. See if you can make a meal with no barcodes, as the nutritionist Amelia Freer says don’t buy products with ‘tricks and promises to seduce you’.

Commit To Sustaining The Change

The key thing is to sustain whatever change you make.

To be a ‘healthier and happier you’ may take only one of these changes, keep these small and manageable.

A working mum or dad? Why prepare not commit to preparing your meals on a Sunday. Always rushing between meetings? Make a lunch that can be easily eaten and is easily digestible.

The most important thing is to look after yourself, no-one is going to do it for you and you will not believe the difference to your work day and home life if you just pay a little more attention to your own health and happiness.

Here’s some links for inspiration:

Madeleine Shaw’s top tips for fighting fatigue

Deliciously Ella’s advice for anyone who feels they can’t cook

Calgary Avansino’s blog – sharing a whole host of wellbeing guru’s secrets

I wish you all the best for 2016!

Lower Your Standards of Praise

“Perfectionist”
pəˈfɛkʃ(ə)nɪst
noun
1.  a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection, e.g. “he was a perfectionist who worked slowly”
adjective
2.  refusing to accept any standard short of perfection

I am a perfectionist. I mean, I’m not obsessive. The volume on the radio can be odd or even – that doesn’t matter. I do, however, like things to be right, and if I think someone won’t do a very good job, I’d rather just do things myself. I’m the kind of person that will ask their other half to make the bed; and then if the cushions aren’t in the right order, I’ll re-make it.

I’m also practically minded; and I know to be an effective team member, and – more importantly – to be a good leader, I need to overcome my perfectionist tendencies, because in reality not everyone I work with or lead will be able to reach the high standards that I set for myself. Trying to impose my own high standards on the people working with me is likely to frustrate them, and frustrate me. That won’t get us anywhere fast – we’ll be heading downhill in a spiral of “not-quite-right” annoyance. Alternatively, I’ll end up doing it myself, and that’s not an effective use of my time.

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I struggled with the concept of letting people ‘get on with it’ a lot, until someone on a training course recently summed this up in one short phrase: “lower your standards of praise”.

Lowering your standards of praise means, instead of only giving people positive feedback when they get things exactly right, you lower the standard of achievement that merits reward to encourage the behavior you want, and then you can work on improving things gradually over time.

Think about when parents bring up children, and they try to teach their toddlers to talk. Of course, if someone wants to ask for a glass of water in adult life, we’d expect to hear “can I have a glass of water, please?”, but a two-year-old isn’t going to go from “mama” and “dada” to asking coherently for a glass of water overnight. Instead, parents start with the basics: “Water”. They’ll repeat the word, and encourage speech, until they get something that closely resembles the result: “Wa-wa”. Close enough! This behavior will be rewarded: the toddler will get the glass of water, and probably plenty of applause and kisses; but they can’t grow up using “wa-wa” every time they’re thirsty, so the development continues, and parents work on changing “wa-wa” to “water”; “water” to “water, please”, and so on.

A blog post on AJATT speaks about lowering our standards in every day life, and learning to appreciate the ‘baby steps’ we take to get to places in life, and then putting that into practice with our more long-term goals. It talks about how you shouldn’t ‘try to arrive at your goal. Just try to go there — and congratulate yourself for it: give yourself credit for only getting it partially right, partially done’. When you appreciate the little achievements, the bigger picture will fall into place.

Ken Blanchard, in his best-selling book, The One Minute Manager, talks about how the manager relies on catching people doing things right – which involves praising people immediately (and not waiting until they’ve achieved the whole); being specific about what they’ve done right – emphasizing how what they did right makes you feel, and how it benefits the organization; and encouraging more of the same.

By lowering your standards of praise, you’re not waiting for people to get all the way to the end of a project, only to be disappointed in the end-result. Instead, you can give positive feedback when they get things partially right, and slowly work your way to the desirable outcome, whilst keeping your relationship frustration-free. It doesn’t mean your end-result is going to be less-than-perfect, but it means that you’re not expecting perfection in the first instance.

Listening – Easy Right!?

Ever been in a really bad mood , you air some frustration and everyone wants to give you advice? You don’t want to hear about what ‘they would have done ‘or ‘in their experience’. Sometimes you just want to vent and be heard.

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Not sure whether it is because I am an extrovert or that I love the sound of my own voice (probably a bit of both),  but I just can’t help but talk. When someone tells me a problem, I find a way of talking about myself and my experiences. I try so hard to stop myself but it just comes out. I am not alone I pick up on a lot of others doing exactly the same. I am not a natural listener,  but I do try and make a conscious effort when listening. I find the below help’s gear me in the right direction.

When you are listening

  • Listen intently and ask yourself what are they asking from you? Sometimes people just need to air their thoughts, sometimes they want some direction from you.
  • Make it about them not you! Ask questions to get a better understanding, show you are listening.
  • Only speak and share your experiences if it adds value to them. Think, is what you’re about to say going to add value or is it just a way for you to talk about yourself.

When you want to be listened to

  • Firstly no one is going to be able to listen attentively to someone who is highly emotional and talks all the time. Emotions can alter the way people listen to you. So if something has immediately annoyed you, take 10 minutes to gather your thoughts before talking about it.
  • What do you want to achieve from the conversation? – Tell the person you are speaking too ie.) ‘I just need to vent’, or ‘I need your advice’.
  • Ever been in a meeting , walked out and forgotten to say something really important. Write down a couple of key bullet points that you want to discuss to make sure you don’t miss something out.

One last tip – With the world at our fingertips it’s easy to get distracted and try and http://cliparts.co/cell-phone-clip-artmultitask when someone is talking to you. Don’t do it. There is nothing worse than talking to someone and they are typing away or checking their phone. It’s just rude.

Listening isn’t easy, the first step is awareness: Ask yourself, colleagues, friends and family – Are you a good listener?

Sarah-Jane Kenny – Channel Solutions Consultant at The Ken Blanchard Companies

3 Things to do when you are Failing

We’ve all been there. You have a plan worked out and tried to execute the plan to the best of your ability, but then external factors seriously derailed those plans. Some of those factors are outside of your control and others are within your control, but either way it doesn’t feel very good. You are probably swamped with pressure, demands, and you just want it fixed, resolved, or gone and out of your life. All of those feelings are quite natural, but the way we handle them will determine the outcome. If you are faced with the situation, you should be doing these three things to ensure A. your success on the current project B. the problem doesn’t happen again:

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Self Diagnosis

This is your best friend. It may feel difficult to do, uncomfortable, and awkward at times, but it is necessary to see where the issues are coming from.  What you need to do is ask the tough questions. I’ve recently consulted with a business that was having a hard time retaining customers. Through asking the tough questions, I found that they didn’t have a measure of cost of customer acquisition, nor did they have a process for keeping/following up with their current customers. It is really imperative that you ask yourself the tough questions in order to really get to solving the real issues. There was a lot of finger pointing and “I don’t know” for process oriented questions that could have been resolved with  a little self-diagnosis and tough questions.

Self-Leadership

This is single-handedly the most underutilized tool in leadership development. At its core, it is understanding yourself and knowing what to ask for from your leader. There should be “self-leadership” seminars all over the world about how to lead yourself and manage up. Often, we spend time analyzing and discussing others’ leadership success and failures, and we fail to discuss the self-leadership failures on both sides.

Attack the problem

Ultimately, the last thing you want to do when you are failing or have a problem is to deal with it. Instead, you just want it to go away and leave you alone. What you should be doing is taking steps to attack it. It doesn’t matter what the task is; choose to attack it and embrace the challenge. By understanding and leading yourself and taking on the problem head on, you most effectively tackle the failure and move on to a more productive state. It’s hard to do, sure, but you will thank yourself for it in the end.

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