Posts Tagged ‘ self awareness ’

Who can you trust?

Last week I took my car to a tyre garage to get two new tyres on my car. Whilst they were putting them on they said my front brakes were completely worn. I would need to spend £260 to get them fixed because the car was unsafe to drive. I was a bit wary about what he said, because I haven’t had any problems with them in the past. So I decided to take them to my mechanic who I have known for years and trust. It turned out there was nothing wrong with my brakes and they didn’t need fixing.

Why am I telling you this? Because the guy at the tyre garage who lied to me made me think, who can you trust? That one person at a garage has made me question the whole reliability and trustworthiness of all mechanics. Now I know that isn’t fair, and there are many trustworthy mechanics, but that’s what happens. Once someone has eroded your trust you start questioning everything around it, and put people into boxes.

Let’s put this into a business context.

Have you had one leader in the past that you didn’t trust, and then this made you question other leaders/the whole organisation. Distrust breeds distrust. According to CIPD research 1 in 3 employees say their trust in senior management is weak. The training zone research shows that less than 30% of UK employees have complete trust in their manager. In order for a business to thrive people need to work together, if there isn’t trust it makes it almost impossible.

A few things to think about

  • Have you ever done anything to erode trust, what happened as a consequence? – We have to take a look at ourselves and what trust means to us before we can start looking outwardly.
  • Who don’t you trust and why? – Sometimes when we look at why we don’t trust others we can make sure that we don’t make the same mistakes that others make to us.
  • Who do you trust and why?

This is just a starting point, to get you thinking about what trust means to you. To build trust you need to demonstrate competence, integrity, care and when you say you are going to do something – do it. Eroding trust isn’t as black and white as my experience with the mechanic, trust is a tricky thing.

Listening – Easy Right!?

Ever been in a really bad mood , you air some frustration and everyone wants to give you advice? You don’t want to hear about what ‘they would have done ‘or ‘in their experience’. Sometimes you just want to vent and be heard.

bigstock-Zipper-Emoticon-14624360

Not sure whether it is because I am an extrovert or that I love the sound of my own voice (probably a bit of both),  but I just can’t help but talk. When someone tells me a problem, I find a way of talking about myself and my experiences. I try so hard to stop myself but it just comes out. I am not alone I pick up on a lot of others doing exactly the same. I am not a natural listener,  but I do try and make a conscious effort when listening. I find the below help’s gear me in the right direction.

When you are listening

  • Listen intently and ask yourself what are they asking from you? Sometimes people just need to air their thoughts, sometimes they want some direction from you.
  • Make it about them not you! Ask questions to get a better understanding, show you are listening.
  • Only speak and share your experiences if it adds value to them. Think, is what you’re about to say going to add value or is it just a way for you to talk about yourself.

When you want to be listened to

  • Firstly no one is going to be able to listen attentively to someone who is highly emotional and talks all the time. Emotions can alter the way people listen to you. So if something has immediately annoyed you, take 10 minutes to gather your thoughts before talking about it.
  • What do you want to achieve from the conversation? – Tell the person you are speaking too ie.) ‘I just need to vent’, or ‘I need your advice’.
  • Ever been in a meeting , walked out and forgotten to say something really important. Write down a couple of key bullet points that you want to discuss to make sure you don’t miss something out.

One last tip – With the world at our fingertips it’s easy to get distracted and try and http://cliparts.co/cell-phone-clip-artmultitask when someone is talking to you. Don’t do it. There is nothing worse than talking to someone and they are typing away or checking their phone. It’s just rude.

Listening isn’t easy, the first step is awareness: Ask yourself, colleagues, friends and family – Are you a good listener?

Sarah-Jane Kenny – Channel Solutions Consultant at The Ken Blanchard Companies

%d bloggers like this: